


Finding Us

by MysticallyGallavich



Series: Prompts for my lovelies [15]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Affection, Angst, Cancer, Death, Futurefic, Love, M/M, Sad, Support, beautifullove, fallinginloveagain, findingeachother, prompt, sweetmoments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:44:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7371481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After season 6.  Mickey has full custody of Yev. Who is like 12 (mick got out of prison when Yev was 6, took yev from a dying or abandoning/fleeing Svet)<br/>Yev is 12 and mickey has cancer. he's dying.<br/>Needs to find someone to take care of Yev. Svetlana is either dead or doesn't want the kid, so Mickey tracks down ian. His ex that he hasn't seen in like 6 years (he visited ian when he got out of prison, but just to catch up, Ian was married to Caleb or some shit)<br/>He asks Ian to take his kid. And ian is now single. Caleb having fucked off for whatever reason. Ian moves states to move into Mickey's place. To help get Him to doctors appointments and help get used to Yev.<br/>Sad, heartbreaking but beautiful scenes of Mickey and Ian growing back together, as they try and help Yev accept his dad's dying. Mickey does die eventually, but Ian stays with Yev and they stay in the house Mickey and Yev lived in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SparkleSpaz101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkleSpaz101/gifts).



> Warning: this is emotional. Especially for me. Hope you like it.

 

\--

Mickey stands still in the middle of the white sterile room. The words are going in his ears but he can't move. He can't. _Cancer. Dying. A year or less. Treatment…blah blah. Yev_. His eyes snap up to the doctor. Who is explaining whatever he is explaining and his thoughts go to his son. His son who is his whole world now. His son whom he loved with every fiber of his being. Losing another parent. Svetlana had died six years ago. A few months after he had gotten out of prison. She was taken from Yev when he was only six years old and it had torn the kid apart. Telling him that his mom was gone had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do and he couldn't have done it without…Ian. Ian who had been there when he called telling him that Svetlana had died. That she had been killed in a drive-by. Well, that wasn't entirely true, she hadn't been the target, she had just been standing on the side of the street when a stray bullet had come flying at her.

He hadn't intended on calling his ex-boyfriend when he had gotten out. Ian had broken up with him, he had moved on and Mickey had seen no point in either of them digging up the past. Ian was happy at the time with some guy. Caleb, he remembers his name. He spent plenty of nights cursing that name but when Svet had died he called Ian in the middle of the night crying, not knowing how to tell his son and Ian had shown up the next morning, arms open and he held Mickey while he cried. Held his hand as he sat his son down and told him about his mom. Ian had pulled Yev into a tight embrace as he comforted the child. The same child that Ian once had considered his own, a part of him. A part of them.

Ian had been there every day for months. Helping. Talking, and they had talked about everything. Ian talked about his illness and his regrets and even his relationship with Caleb. Mickey had talked about everything. Prison, Ian, Yev, Svet. And when Mickey decided he had to move, to take Yevgeny away from Chicago, Ian understood. Ian was sad, he told him he would miss them but he understood and he helped Mickey pack up his life, he hugged them both goodbye, as they took off, took off to Missouri.

And now. Now Mickey was looking at a doctor who was telling him that in a year at the most he would be gone. Leaving Yevgeny alone. Abandoning his son, in a city that had no family except for themselves. In a place without Ian or his sister or brothers or even the overbearing Gallaghers and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

\--

After a mild panic attack, Mickey left the doctors office, heading home. When he got there and paid the overpriced babysitter, he peaked in on his son who was sitting on his bed doing homework. He greeted him and kissed him on the head which was responded to by a loud groan and then he went to his room and he let a tear fall from his eye and he picked up his phone and stared at it. He contemplated calling his sister. Calling his brothers. He needed something. He needed someone that could take Yevgeny above anything because he was still a kid. And he didn't know what to do. He could take a few weeks and think it over or he could do what he was already doing, as he hit the call button. Not really thinking at all.

He hadn't dialed the number for over five years at least. Sure he had sent texts a few times a year, he sent pictures of his son, but he never spoke, because hearing that voice did something to him, reminded him of a life lost or some shit. Ironic now wasn't it?

“Mick? What's wrong?” The voice on the other end sounded out of breath. _Don't think about it, don't think about what he was doing. Doesn't matter. You're dying asshole._

“Everything. Ian…I…” And Mickey sobbed into the phone quietly.

“Oh god. What is it? Is Yevvy okay? Is it Mandy? What is it?”

“It's me. I don't want to say it over the phone like this but I need you…it's, I'm sick.” He says and Ian is silent for a minute.

“How sick?”

“Term…can…fuck I can't even say it.”

“How long?” He could hear Ian sniffle. He knew.

“A year. Maybe. What am I gonna do Ian? I can't leave him with no one. He's only twelve. He lost his mom and now me…who's he got huh? Fuck I'm sorry.”

“He's got me,” Ian says.

“What?”

“He has me, Mickey. You have me. Do you…if you don't want me there just say so, but I'd like to come out. Be there when you tell him, be there for you. You have me. Family remember?” Ian says and Mickey nods. He's saying, that Mickey took care of him and it's his turn and as much as Mickey wants to tell him that he's fine that he doesn't need anyone or anything he can't because he does. He needs Ian right now.

“Okay. You don't have to. What about…your life Ian. I'm not down the street anymore.”

“It'll be fine. Kids are grown up. I have…there will be someone with me. Is that okay?” He says. Mickey wants to say no because he's pretty sure he doesn't want to spend more than a second with Caleb but he stops himself.

“Sure man.”

\--

Ian sits his phone down. And he cries, Mickey is sick, Mickey is sick. It replays in his head on a loop for a while and he can't breathe.

“Daddy…” He hears and his head snaps up to see the little girl With red curls looking at him with fear in her eyes.

“Are you sick? I call aunt Fi?” She asks quietly and that makes him want to cry more that she's afraid he's about to curl up in a ball on his bed and not move for hours. His little girl, a four-year-old should not know the things she knows about life. And what's he gonna do now, pack her up and move her to Missouri for however long, and introduce her to Mickey and let her fall in love with him because she will. She'll love Mickey. But he can't go without her. It's his daughter. And he just offered to take Yev and it wasn't even a decision he loves Yev. Has since he was born.

“No baby. Daddy's just sad but not sick. Daddy's friend Mickey called. You remember me talking about him?” He asks and she nods, pointing at the picture on his wall of Mickey and Yevgeny. “He needs daddy to come to see him.” He says. And she looks at him.

“I go too?” She asks as if there's any way he would leave her behind.

“Of course baby.”

Ian spends the next few days getting things in order. He puts in leave at work, although he probably should of just quit, but he can probably work from there. Most of his work is done from home anyway. So he can be closer to Bella. And he tells his family who at first aren't sure this is a good idea but when he tells them Mickey is sick, they just freeze. And they agree. They know nothing will stop him. So that brings him to driving to Missouri, to Mickey. To the man, he fell in love with when he was really just a child. To the man who showed him what love was.

\--

“Will he like me?” Bella asks.

“Of course baby. Who wouldn't love you?” He says and she shuffles her feet. Much like Ian does when he gets nervous.

“How sick is he?” She asks because he told her. He needed her to know.

“Pretty sick baby. Remember don't say anything. Yevgeny doesn't know yet. Okay?”

“Yev…yevg…say it again.” She says trying to get it right.

“Yev is fine. You ready to meet them?” He asks and she nods lightly.

“You love him?” She asks. Smart girl for her age.

“Yes.”

“Like you love me? Or the other kind?” She asks.

“A little of both. I loved him very much once. The other kind. I haven't seen him in a long time.” He says softly.

“You sad that he's sick?” She asks but it doesn't sound like a question because he's sure she knows.

“Yes. Really sad.”

“Is he gonna get better? Can't he take meds like you do and be better?” She asks and he wants to cry as they walk up the long sidewalk to Mickey's house.

“No baby. It's a different sick. This kind isn't like daddy's. He'll take medicine, but it won't make him better, I wish it would. I wish there was a pill for this that would make it better.” And she nods.

“Me too daddy.” She says as he knocks on the door and she ducks behind him to hide.

\--

Mickey answers the door and looks at Ian. He is standing there, one arm behind his back and Mickey thinks it's odd but doesn't say anything. He just smiles. But he doesn't see Caleb, so he has to ask.

“Thought you were bringing company?” Mickey asks and Ian smiles.

“I did. Are you gonna come out now? Or hide back there?” The man says and Mickey is shocked when he sees a little girl with red curls peak put behind Ian shyly. She only peeks her head out and Mickey has no idea what to say.

“Bella…he's not gonna bite. Come on, come out and say hi.” And she peeks out a little more but keeps herself behind Ian.

“Hi.” She says and ducks her head back. And Mickey chuckles.

“And who might this be? Bella is it?” He asks and he smiles because she peaks out again staring a little longer and he doesn't need to be told because he sees those green eyes and that hair and he knows she's Ian's. How did he not know about this?

“Bella…is my daughter. Come on Bella. We can't go inside if you hide behind me all day.” He says and the little girl grunts and says something along the lines of yes we can.

“Stubborn. Huh? Definitely a Gallagher. You like cookies kid? Made some for Yev and your dad. Think I have enough for you too.” And she poked her head out again.

“What kind?” She asks from behind Ian.

“Chocolate chip.” He says and she steps out looking him up and down.

“Okay.” She says and holds out her hand for Mickey to take and he smirks and he does as Ian follows closely behind with their bags.

Ian watches Mickey as he picks Bella up to set her in the chair at the counter in the kitchen. And his daughter's shyness has disappeared as she talks animatedly, waving her arms a little, and Mickey looks entranced as she talks about the people back home.

“She's somethin' man,” Mickey says to Ian and Ian laughs lightly.

“Yeah, she is,” Ian says proudly.

“So what about…Caleb. Didn't want to bring him? You could have you know?” Mickey says.

“Who's Caleb?” Bella asks curiously.

“You met him once Bellz, the firefighter,” Ian says and Bella scrunched her nose.

“Oh. I don't like him. He called daddy crazy.” She says and Mickey raises his eyebrow.

“We haven't been together in about five or so years.” Ian explains and Mickey nods.

“Oh, I see. And her…mom?” He asks curiously.

“Mama died when I was born.” She says.

“Oh. I'm sorry.” He says. Both to Ian and the little girl.

The little girl shrugs. “I didn't know her. Daddy says she was nice. He shows me pictures. She was pretty.” She says.

“This munchkins mom and I…” He starts placing his hands lovingly on his daughters head and pressing a kiss on her scalp. "Were good friends. She wanted a baby and I really did too, so we just did. Best call I ever made.” He says and the little girl rolls her eyes and Mickey can tell she's heard it before.

After a minute the girl gets up, and Mickey turns on some cartoons for her and she motions for him to lean down. And he does and she whispers lightly. “I'm sorry you're sick.” She says and his eyes widen but he nods and she goes off to her shows leaving Ian and Mickey in the kitchen alone.

“You told her?” Mickey asks.

“Yeah. I had to. I mean I was bringing her here to meet you, and I just needed her to know first.” And Mickey nods in understanding. “She knows not to say anything until we talk to Yev.” Mickey nods again.

“She's beautiful Ian.” And Ian brightens.

“She's everything. She's so fucking smart too. Scares the hell out of me.”

“I know man. Yev surprises me every day. So much like me sometimes. Fucking frightening man.” And Ian nods.

“So it's just you and her then? Nobody back home?” Mickey asks and it's not him asking for him but because Ian had offered to take his son and he needed to know.

“No. Just me and the munchkin.”

“Live at home with Fi?” Mickey asks curiously.

“No. We got our own place. She keeps an eye out and she knows when she has to call Fiona or Lip, we take care of each other. Sometimes I think she takes better care of me.” He says chuckling and Mickey does too. And then he looks at Ian, taking him in and he feels himself about to break.

“Can you..um come with me for a minute.” Mickey says. And Ian just nods following Mickey down the hall to what he assumes is his room. Ian looks at Mickey curiously but then he sees the tears brimming the man's eyes. And Mickey takes a deep breath as he closes the door. “I'm going to do something completely out of character for me okay.” And Ian nods and that seems to be all Mickey needs. He walks forward until he is standing completely in front of Ian and he wraps his arms around him, taking Ian in because this is what he needs. And he lets go and cries. Ian wraps his arms around the man he's spent half of his life loving. “Fuck this sucks. I missed you. Missed so much.” Mickey says and Ian agrees.

“Me too man. We suck at keeping in touch ya know?” Ian says joking. 

“Somethin like that.” Mickey says still holding onto Ian until they hear the door open. “Fuck.” Mickey whispers.

And Ian looks at Mickey wondering if it's someone important to him or if it's just Yevgeny. He gets his answer as they step out of the room and a mini Mickey tosses his backpack into the chair and tilts his head at the little girl on the couch and then he sees Ian and he just stares.

“Ian?” Yev asks and Ian tries to catch his breath. He hasn't been face to face with the boy for six years, he had talked to him of course, occasionally, more like short texts the last few years.

“Hey Yevvy. Good to see you.” He says and Yev looks at him. And then he looks worried.

“Why are you here? What happened? Are you okay? Who died?” Yevgeny is a smart kid, and Mickey knows that. He knew he'd know something was up. Because in the last six years Ian hasn't visited. It was always a little awkward for Ian and Mickey to be friends, sure Ian had been there when Svet passed but once they weren't focused on the pain of losing her, they became detached and awkward, they barely texted, they were friendly but they hadn't been friends, mostly because they both knew if they were it would end up as more and that really wasn't an option for either of them. So standing here and Ian and Mickey looking not awkward but just like two people who cared had Mickey's son freaking out and Mickey couldn’t blame him.

“Yev…”

“Oh god. What is it? Dad? Ian? And who's she?” He says.

“My daughter Bella.”

“Wait…seriously? That's Bella?” Yevgeny says. And looks over at her.

“You knew he had a kid? The hell?” Mickey says and Yev shrugs.

  
“She was in a picture uncle Carl sent me. Do I need to sit down?”

“Why don't we talk about it after dinner huh?” Mickey suggests and Yev shakes his head.

“No, it's bad. I can tell. Ian's here and Ian's never here. What's going on guys? You two usually can't even talk, and now you come out of dads room and you look like you've been crying. So Unless you two are suddenly admitting that you love each other, which I doubt, then somethings wrong.”

Ian sighed because he was right. He should have visited more. Him and his stupidity, not coming here to visit them and putting away his stupid feelings to be there for Yev. And now. Now Mickey was sick and there was fuck all he could do about it.

“Yev.., it's…I'm sick, “ Mickey says breaking down to his son, touching him lightly on the arm.

“Sick how?” The boy asks.

“It's...its…cancer.” He says finally. Mickey is crying again.

“So Ian's here to help you until you get better?” Yev asks, the tears brimming in his eyes.

“Buddy, I'm gonna get treatment, yes but it's not gonna..I'm not gonna get better.” Mickey says crying and Yev jumps up.

“What do you mean?” He says crying. And he runs to his room without waiting for Mickey to explain and Mickey curses and steps to go after him hit Ian stops him.

“I got it.” Ian says and goes into the room to find an angry boy.

“He's giving up? And you're letting him?” He says angrily.

“He isn't. The doctors say he had about a year Yev. If he could fight it, he would. You know that. He would never leave you. Not if he had any choice at all. And I wouldn't let him give up. He's gonna fight until he can't anymore but he can't fix this for you.”

“Then why are you here?” Yev asks.

“He called. He needs me to help, to take care of both of you and you after…”

“He asked you take me? You don't have to.” Yev says.

“I want to. I offered. I love you. I've loved you since you were a baby and I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't here more for you. I am. I'm here now and we aren't going anywhere okay?” Yev hugs Ian and cries for a minute.

“Can I be alone for a while?” He asks and Ian nods.

“Sure buddy. He loves you. He needs you right now okay.”

“He loves you too ya know? You should know that.” Yev says and Ian holds a breath in. Fuck this was hard.

\--

Dinner went by without much incident, although there was little to no speaking. Except for Bella, she talked and ask some questions and when a question was directed at them everyone even Yev answered her. They cleaned up and got Bella settled in the spare room, Ian tucks her in and kisses her on her head and closes the door.

“Homework and then bed okay?” Mickey says and Yev nods. He gets up walking towards the hallway but he stops and runs back to Mickey and wraps his arms around his father.

“I love you, dad.” He says and Mickey sniffs a little.

“I love you too buddy. You know I'll fight to stay as long as I can. Right? I hope you know.” Mickey says. And Yev nods letting him go and looks at Ian.

“Thanks for coming Ian. It's not that I don't love you…” And Ian nods smiling softly.

“I'd give anything to be here for anything else Yev. Anything else.” Ian says honestly and Yev nods, going into his room.

\--

“Man, I'd give anything to make this better for him. Fuck.” Mickey says sitting on the couch.

“I know. Bella asked me if you could take a pill like I do and not be sick anymore. Kids man. We'd do anything to take it all away. If only it was that easy.” Ian says and Mickey agrees.

“She's amazing man. Always knew you'd be a good dad.”

“You too. Yev is so much like you. All those amazing parts of you. Right there in a tiny version of you.”

“He's got the bad parts too. The little shit. Are you sure about this? Taking him? I'd understand if it was too much.”

“I don't think so, Mick. That boy has been a part of my heart much longer than I wanted to admit. I'm so pissed at myself for not making it up here before. And why? Because I was too pussy to face you? To be honest with you? Or so afraid you'd see it all over my face. I'm so mad at myself right now.” Ian says honestly and Mickey looks at him in understanding.

“Wasn't just you. We were so stuck on our shit because we had time. There was always time to fix it. Didn't think we'd run out of time. Almost called you so many times.” Mickey says sadly.

“We aren't out of time yet Mickey. So we don't have as much time as we thought. But we have time.”

“What good is that? We fix us, and then I die. What kind of shit is that?” Mickey says.

“At least we have this time Mickey. I'll take whatever moments you have left. To be able to be here with you. I'll take it. I've been living in autopilot for far too long. So I'm gonna feel all of this with you. You were, no, are the only thing that ever made sense in my life except for those kids in there and I'll be here through all of this. Me and you, against the world, like it, was meant to be.” Ian says scooting closer to Mickey.

“Will you sleep next to me tonight?” Mickey asks.

“Of course. And every night if you need me too.” Ian says and Mickey nods getting up and Ian follows closely behind.

\--

  
That night when Ian wraps his arms around Mickey and holds him close. They both cry, because here right now, they just fit. Like they did all those years ago and they both regretted not picking up the phone the million times they almost did. They could have had so much but they only had now, and that had to be enough because it's all they had.

In reality, had they picked up the phone then, they probably would have fought or yelled, they wouldn't have been able to be like this so soon after seeing each other again but things were different because they didn't have the time, they only had each other. So Ian held Mickey close like he had never let him go, and Mickey closed his eyes listening to the sounds of Ian's breathing.

\--

Ian sat in the waiting room of the hospital a week later. Yev was in school and Bella was sitting in his lap. He waited. His leg bouncing up and down.

“Dad…stop.” She whines and it makes Ian laugh. And he looks up to see Mickey step out and come up to him, the doctor behind him.

“Mr. Gallagher? I'm Dr. Reed, Mickey tells me you will be his primary caregiver through these difficult months. You want to come to the back so I can explain some things.” And Ian nods, without needing to Bella crawls over to Mickey's lap who is now sitting.

\--

“Did you love my dad?” She asks Mickey and he coughs for a minute looking into this bright green eyes.

“Well, you certainly got the bluntness from your dad huh?”

“Mhm. Did you?”

“Don't think I ever stopped kid.” He says to her and she gets this thoughtful expression on her face, much like the one Ian gets.

“Why'd you break up?” She asks.

“Life happened. It wasn't because we didn't love each other, that was never it.” Mickey said honestly because even when Ian had been sick he never thought that Ian didn't love him.

“He still loves you.” She says simply as if it's just as simple as that and maybe if he wasn't living on borrowed time, maybe it would have been that simple.

\--

Ian comes out, and he picks Bella up from Mickey's lap and just simply says. “Let's go home, guys.”

“You okay?” Mickey asks and Ian nods.

“I'm good. Just want to curl up on the couch with my daughter and you until Yevvy gets home.” He says but Mickey knows. He's not okay. How could he be? Mickey sure the hell wasn't.

\--

The next few days are hard, Ian lets the information turn over in his head. how the treatment is going to affect Mickey, how he has signed on to take care of two children and an adult, who's going to need him very much. He takes a moment to think about everything. not because he doesn't want it but because he know's himself, his mind is spiraling, and that's something he has learned to deal with, So on Friday night, he steps out on the porch while Mickey is distracted with their children and he breathes in. He lets his mind go crazy for a minute, he lets the air swirl around in his head, because that's what it takes sometimes, letting his mind go a little wild so that it will come back together.

When he steps back in, the kids look up at him as Mickey does looking at him curiously, but it isn't Mickey that says something. Its Bella, because that little girl knows her dad way too much. "bad day tomorrow?" She asks and He wants to lie, wants to say that his mind can handle this shit right now, but he knows she's right. Tomorrow will be a sad day, and he'll let himself feel it all then because he won't really have a choice.

"yeah, baby." He says and Mickey eyes him.

"Okay daddy, We'll take care of you." She says confidently. and Mickey looks at Ian and Ian points to his head.

"You okay?" Mickey asks and Ian nods.

"Yup, just have off days, I can feel them coming now, and she always knows. The last couple of years. At first, she was so little, I didn't realize it, but she would curl up closer the day before, like I give off something like she knew that she needed to hold me. A couple of years ago, I had a really bad episode, and I think I scared her, but ever since, she always knows." and Mickey nods at that. "I hate that she knows." Ian whispers to Mickey who is next to him now.

"But it's good, right? how bad is it? I mean, I remember before, but that was different." Mickey asks.

"yeah, it's not so bad now, as long as the meds are working. I'll probably just be really tired and I'll sleep most of the day. It doesn't happen often. My mind goes into overdrive sometimes." Ian says.

"Is it because...of me?" Mickey guessed.

"No..I mean, my mind is...but no. it's just my mind. It races, thoughts everywhere. It's not like it was back then. Meds are working." Ian says and Mickey nods.

\--

Just like clockwork the next day, Ian wakes up feeling like a ton of bricks are pressing on his head, and he hates it. he hates it because what if this happens when Mickey gets sicker, how is he supposed to take care of Mickey, if he can't take care of himself. Chemo starts soon, and Ian felt himself sinking until the door creaked open.

\--

"What are you doing?" Mickey asked Bella moments before.

"Soup, crackers, meds, for daddy." She says pointing to her tray and he smiles at her.

"I can take it." He says and she shakes her head.

"Gotta give kisses, you gonna do that too?" she asks smirking at him. Smart little shit.

"Sure if it's part of the routine." and she shakes her head.

"Come on then. I show you." The little girls says carrying the tray and Mickey follows her and watches from the door as she walks into the dark room, and sits the tray down on the nightstand. How it was possible that a four-year-old knew exactly what to do, was beyond him but she did. Mickey walked closer to see Ian, whose eyes were now open, looking at his daughter, while weakly, adoringly. and she leans in and places a kiss on Ian's forehead.

"I'll leave you, daddy. Eat soup, okay? I'll come back after cartoons." She says. and then bounds up to Mickey and looks at him. "Don't forget the kisses!" She says giggling and Mickey shakes his head and Ian looks over at him.

"Hey." He says weakly.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Weak, but I'm okay. Could be worse." He answers.

"Can I get in bed with you? or is it like...too much right now?" Mickey asks, he doesn't know and it pisses him off that he doesn't. Ian doesn't say anything he just pats the bed beside him and Mickey gets into the bed.

"Tell me a story, Mick." Ian says softly.

"What kind of story? like a bedtime story?" Mickey asks and Ian shakes his head.

"No. a real one." Ian says softly.

"Okay okay. Once upon a time...Ow!" Mickey yelps when Ian pinches him.

"It is a real fucking story asshole. once upon a time there was a red-headed asshole, keep your pinchers to yourself. This red-head, met a dirty thug one day..."

"Was the thug trying to kick his ass? I think I've heard this one before." Ian says and Mickey flips him off.

"Storytime is over asshole." and Ian pouts a little.

"Fine. What's this about kisses? Bella mentioned?" Ian asks a little playfully. and Mickey laughs.

"She said that it's part of the routine. That if I take care of you, it includes kisses." he says and Ian smiles.

"Mickey kisses are like a cure-all." Ian jokes wiping his eyes a little.

"If only that were true." Mickey says sadly. and Ian just smiles.

"Wanna test it out?" He asks and Mickey rolls his eyes.

"Another time firecrotch. Get some rest. I'm gonna feed the demons out there." He says.

\--

 

Ian gets out of bed that night and he thinks that maybe it really just was his head overthinking. He just needed to let his thoughts run wild for a while to let his head clear and what he sees when his head is clear is Mickey. Just like it always should have been, Mickey has always been in there, even in The muddled darkness. He steps out slowly into the hallway and what he sees is possibly the most beautiful thing he thinks he's ever seen in his life. Mickey is sitting in the middle of the couch. Yev's head is on his shoulder and Bella is curled up in his arms sleeping. He thinks back to that day on those steps of his old house, letting Mickey go and that pisses him off. He wants to go back and punch himself in the face. Ian walks closer and he sees that Mickey is just looking at the kids, lovingly and he smiles.

Mickey finally looks up and he sucks in a breath. “Hey.” He whispers. “Thought you'd be out longer.” He says and Ian smiles.

“Me too. Let's get them to bed. Huh?” He says and Mickey doesn't say anything he just nods at him. He does that a lot. Ian picks up Bella and she seems to know it's him.

“Better daddy?” She asks sleepily.

“Yeah, baby. Daddy's better. Let's get you to sleep okay.” He says

“Wait!” She yells and it makes Yev jump awake.

“Kisses for Mickey. To make him feel better.” She says.

And he sets her down and she crawls back up to Mickey and kisses him on the cheek. “Your turn daddy.” And Ian looks at her. Seriously. This kid. “Go on.”  
She says and he shakes his head, looking at Mickey apologetically. And leans down and presses his lips to Mickey's forehead.

“There. Ya happy?” Mickey asks her and she shrugs.

\--

Ian steps into the bedroom and Mickey is already laying down. “Your kid man. She's a little shit.”

“It's a Gallagher thing.” Ian says Chuckling, crawling into bed with Mickey. Like every other night since he's been here but it's different somehow. And it is because the look in Mickey's eyes is different, something he hasn't seen in a while. And Mickey just reaches out his hand and touches Ian's face. “You feel better though right?” Mickey asks.

“Yeah, I'm good Mick. Fogs gone, clearer than I have been in a while.” And Mickey doesn't quite understand but he got the answer he needed as he looks at Ian and suddenly crashes his lips onto Ian's.

  
Ian's eyes widen. Mickey is kissing him, and he can't move, can't think, can't anything because what the fuck is happening?? So much for clarity. And when Mickey's tongue darts out Ian opens his mouth. Because why the fuck not? “Wait..wait…” Ian says pulling away and Mickey huffs.

“You think too much. Save the reasons why we shouldn't be kissing okay Gallagher. Do you want to kiss me?” Mickey cute him off, Ian hasn't even had the chance to speak.

“Of course. I love you, but we, can't, we…I'm here to take care of you and Yev, not for this…”

“Uh huh. Horrible idea. Got it. I know this is selfish. I shouldn't kiss you because I'm sick and I'm going to die and leave you, but damn it I've been waiting to kiss those ridiculous, lips for like ten years now.” Mickey says.

“Oh fuck it.” Ian says and pulls Mickey on top of him. They kiss like it’s the breath they've both been needing for years and it really is.

\--

Ian and Mickey decide after their really intense make-out session to say fuck it probably too often. So there they are the night before chemo starts making out in their bed because they could. When Mickey shocks Ian yet again. “Make love to me.” He says and Ian rolls his eyes.

“Chemo in the morning. We need to go to bed.”

“I want..no I need..you. Tomorrow I get poison pumped into my veins and I'm gonna get sick and you're practically gonna be my nurse on most of my days. I don't know when I'm going to feel like this again. And you know how that feels. I just need to feel like I'm not dying for one night. Just me and you and that's it. I want to feel how much I love you, we wasted ten years that we could have had and there's nothing we can do about that. But we can do something about this. If it's too much for you, tell me because I know I'm being unfair. That when this is all over and I'm gone it's you that has to pick up the pieces.”

“Shut up.” Ian says to him.

“What?”

“You keep doing that. Everyday. Giving me an out. Because you're sick and I'm dealing with that. We've talked about this. We've talked about our ending and what we're doing here and I've told you. I love you. I'd rather have these moments with you than to be sitting around when you're gone thinking about what we didn't have. I just want to make sure you're okay Mickey.” Ian says.

“I'd be better if you'd kiss me.” Mickey smirks and Ian rolls his eyes. Another fuck it moment to add to the list. So he kisses Mickey, softly. And he lays him down and undresses him slowly, trailing his kisses all over his body, and he makes love to him, it isn't rough or passionate like it once was, there's passion but it's different. It's two men who need each other, who have no time to worry about the consequences of their actions, they just want to show each other their love because it's really all they have. It's all they need.

\--

Mickey lies in bed, it's one of his worst days. But somehow it's still okay. He was on his final round of chemo before they gave him a much needed break and it had been horrible. He hadn’t been able to manage getting out of bed for the last three days, and yet the way Ian and the kids took care of everything including him was nothing short of amazing. He wondered sometimes how parents like his own, could ever not be enthralled in their children. Yev, his perfect son who was so much like him in so many ways took the time to come in and see him for a few hours every day, even if it meant getting up disgustingly early before school, and Bella would bring him a tray like she had brought Ian's and she would place a kiss on his head and then sometimes she would crawl up in the bed and curl up with him. Like she was right now, and she was reading to him. Well since she couldn't actually read the book she was holding she was just telling him a story pretending it's what was in the book. And she was at his side.

Ian was mulling around the house cleaning and checking in on them every so often. He would let her stay in there for another five minutes if Mickey had timed it right before taking her into the living room. Then Ian would come on and lie down with him and talk to him for a while until he fell back asleep. It was kind of amazing how close they had become in the last month, and it saddened him that he wouldn't be around to see everything he would be missing. Yev's first day of high school, his graduation, even his wedding someday. He even wanted to be there for Bella's first day of school and he sure wouldn't be around to see Ian, Ian get old and grumpy, he would kill to see that. To grow old with the man he had loved since he was only a kid himself. And just like clockwork Ian came and scooped Bella up and took her away and he frowned. He never wanted to leave them.

Ian came back in a moment later. “How are you feeling?” Ian asks and Mickey shrugs a little.

“Like shit. But she helps. I think she took my temperature three times.”  
Mickey chuckles and Ian makes his way to the bed.

“She does that. Makes her feel important, needed. She adores you.” Ian says.

“I love her so much. What was her mom like?” Mickey asks.

“She was amazing. Reminded me of Mandy sometimes, fiery like that but also sweet and kind. Always trying to take care of people. She was a nurse.” He says fondly and Mickey smiles.

“Sounds like Bella gets that from her. Can I ask you to do something?” Mickey asks.

“Anything.” Ian says not hesitating.

“Find someone when I'm gone. Someone to love you and the kids. Someone good.” Mickey says.

“Except that. Anything but that.” Ian says honestly because how could he agree to that?

“Ian….”

“I don't want to talk about this.” Ian says shaking his head. “I just want to lie here with you. And not talk about me boning some other dude.”

“Fine Ian. I'll drop it for now. But I want to talk about it. I don't want you moping around afraid to love when I'm gone. I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy. With you.” Ian says and Mickey sighs.

“Not the point babe. The point is I won't be here as long as we want me to.” And Ian doesn't say anything for a while because he doesn't want to think of Mickey gone. And Mickey let him be silent for a while before he let his hand reach out for Ian's and Ian placed his hand in mickeys.

\--

It's four months in. Mickey had had Ian for four months, he has been sick for four months. A year really doesn't last long enough when you want it to. Mickey is having a good day today. He got out of bed without much effort and he is sitting on the couch with a blanket sprawled across him. Ian is on the floor playing with Bella who for once is actually acting like the kid she is, playing with toys on the floor with her daddy and Yev is in the chair with his math book in front of him. When the knock comes at the door, Mickey goes to get up but Ian stops him. Mickey rolls his eyes and flips him off and still gets up which causes Ian to huff but he sits down on the couch anyway and Bella giggles.

Mickey opens the door to find Mandy, Iggy, and Colin standing at the door.

“You look like shit.” She says jokingly and he flips her off and pulls her into a hug tightly. He sees the shock on his brother's faces and hears her breath hitch because she's trying not to cry. Then Mickey laughs because Bella is there before anyone sees her, peering up at Mandy. And she tugs on Mickey's pants and he scoops her up.

“Oh my god, she looks just like…” She says in shock.

“I look like daddy. You're Mandy. Daddy talks about you.” She says.

“No…this is…Bella?” She asks and the girl nods.

“Where is he?” Mandy asks and Mickey points over his shoulder, and she pushes past him to find Ian sitting on the couch. “Gallagher. You fucker. I missed you,” she says jumping into his lap  
And he laughs.

\--

After dinner that night they are all sitting around. Mickey and Yev are zoned out playing a game on the tv. And Bella has gotten Iggy and Colin wrapped around her little finger. Mandy and Ian are sitting on the couch and it's a comfortable silence until Mandy sees Mickey take his hand off his controller and reach out for Ian's hand. She's pretty sure she's losing her mind. Mickey Milkovich just held out his hand to Ian. And he was stroking it lightly. Then as if they were the only ones in the room, Ian brought his and Mickey hands up and kissed Mickey's hand and laid it back down and her brother, just smiled. Oh fuck.

Mandy panicked, not because she didn't love her brother and her best friend together. And not because she hadn't tried to get them to call each other a million times. But because what the fuck…”Ian, can I talk to you for a minute?” And Ian looks up at her curiously. “Please.” And he nods. When he gets up he places a kiss on the top of Mickey's head, which even gets Colin and Iggy's attention as they look up from their game with Bella, who now has them both in fake jewelry and crowns and Ian chuckles at that.

\--

“What's up Mandy?” He asks

“What's up?!? Have you lost your ever living mind. He's sick, he's sick and you and him chose now to get back together. It's going to destroy you!” She paces and the rambles  
And Ian let's her.

“Mandy…Mandy!” He yells and she stops.

“Calm down. Look at me. In my eyes and listen so you'll know it's me talking not bipolar or mania or whatever you're thinking right now okay. I love Mickey. I have loved Mickey since I was sixteen years old. He's sick, he's gonna die way sooner than I want to admit and yes it's going to destroy me, it's going to fucking break me apart, but do you think it's not if we aren't together? That this will hurt any less if I spend the entire time we have left, not kissing him when I want to? I would rather lose him knowing that I gave him, gave us everything we both want than sit around and regret what I didn't do, what I didn't say. I've got enough of those regrets Mandy.” He says and she nods. It makes sense, it does. And she looks down.

“Okay. I get it. It's just, I want you to be careful.”

“I know Mands but careful kept me away from him. For ten years I was afraid of everything, and I hid it all away. There are plenty of reasons to not do this but there are so many more reasons to do this.” He says.

\--

Mickey and Ian continue to be what they are and continue to love each other. They both have bad days, Ian with his disorder and Mickey with his illness. The year is almost up when Mickey brings it up again. Ian moving on. “I don't…” Ian starts.

“Come on man. We gotta talk about this. My days are numbered. I want you to try to move on when I'm gone for me, for them.”

“Okay, I'll try, on one condition.” Ian says finally. And Mickey looks at him curiously. “Marry me.” Ian says and Mickey scoffs.

“What? You're blackmailing me now?”

“No. I'll try to move on. I'll try but I'll love you forever. I promise that if I find someone I won't push them away, but I'm not gonna go out looking for it, I'm not gonna bury you and go out to a bar the next day. But I want to marry you. I want to spend whatever time we have left as your husband.”

“Okay.” Mickey answers and Ian's head snaps up.

  
“Okay?”

“Okay, I'll marry you fucker but you have to promise. If you find someone to love you'll try.”

\--

And so it is exactly a year from the say he was diagnosed when Ian and Mickey get married. Their families drive up and watch as the two men they always knew would find each other again promise themselves to each other. Promise to spend what time they have left together.

And they do. Mickey doesn't die soon after. They get two more years together. Two years they didn't think they would have and they are thankful for it, they enjoy it. In the last few months, Mickey can't get out of bed but Yev and Bella and Ian take care of him, and they suffer as they watch him go. Bella is seven and Yev is fifteen when he passes and the night before, he knows. He tells Ian so.

“I can't hold on anymore baby.” He whispers to Ian that night and Ian knows too.

“I know Mick. It's okay. You fought like hell. We all love you. It's okay. I love you so fucking much.” He whispers to Mickey's weak form.

“Take care of them. Kiss them every day and tell them I love them. If I could stay..”

“I know baby. I know.”

“I'm so tired.” Mickey whispers and Ian leans in and kisses Mickey for the last time.

“It's okay baby. Let go. I love you. Forever.” He says and he softly cries as he feels Mickey let go.

\--

Ian wants to break down after but he doesn't, he takes one day at a time, he takes care of their children just like Mickey would want him to. Just like he promised his husband that he would. It's hard but he does it and he doesn't for one-second regret the time he got to have with Mickey. He doesn't date regardless of what he promised, he isn't ready.

It's on Yevgeny's graduation day that Yev brings it up.

“You should date, ya know?” Yev says to him. And Ian scoffs.

“You promised him. It's been three years dad.”

“I promised I wouldn't run away if it happened. It hasn't happened.”

“You don't go out anywhere.” Ian just stared at him.

“Okay okay. How about you just promise to go out and have fun. If you don't want to meet anyone you don't have to. I'll watch Bella. Just go have fun with the people at work or whatever. For me?” Yev says and Ian can't resist that because at eighteen he looks way too much like his father.

“Okay. I'll go to a movie or something. No setting me up on dates. I'm okay. I'm okay, I don't need it. I have you kids and I'm good.” He says honestly because he is. Nobody could or ever would compare to Mickey Milkovich and he would keep his promise to Mickey if he ever needed to but right now, there was nobody he has even looked twice at. And he was perfectly fine with that. And he touched his wedding ring as he smiled at Yev. “Now get ready to graduate kid. Your dad would be so fucking proud.” And Yev smiles.

“Do you ever miss Chicago dad?” Yev asks

“We go back for holidays.” Ian says. And he sees Bella peak her head in.

“Not what I meant. Do you ever regret staying after dad died?”

“Nah. We like it here. Don't we Bellz? And the ten-year-old nods at her dad and big brother. And Yev smiles. Glad they didn't just stay for him. Because he liked it there and they were happiest here as a whole family and he liked to remember that.

\--

Yev met the girl he was going to marry, his second year at college. She was kind and sweet and underneath that, she was fierce and loyal and could and would kick anybody's ass that dared to mess with those she loved. In fact, she was the perfect kind of Milkovich and Ian told Yev that after meeting her. To which he whined, embarrassed. Two years after that when Yev told Ian he was gonna marry her, Ian  Just laughed. “Told you she'd make a good Milkovich.” He said, “your dad would have loved her,” he added at the end and Yev nodded in agreeance.

At the wedding, Bella stood up to make a toast. That little girl Yev had met ten years prior. Was every bit his sister. “To Yevgeny and jasmine. May you two have the kind of love that our fathers had, may you find each other even when you are lost. And may you be each others lifeline when nobody else can be. You may not be my brother by blood, but you are my brother Yevvy and I love you.” Yev had tears in his eyes when he pulled his sister in for a hug and so did Ian.

And Ian stood and looked at the couple. “I don't think I could top that.” He says and everyone laughs. “Yevgeny Milkovich, I am so proud of you and your father, he would be amazed at the man you have become. You are every bit of your father that I and so many of us loved so much. Congratulations you two. Never forget how much you love each other today, and for the rest of the days of your lives.” He says holding up his glass and going to hug the couple and he pulls his children in for a long hug. “Best decision I ever made was coming here for you.” He whispers to Yev and Yev smiles.

“Dad would be proud of you too.” Yev says to his other father.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was so hard for me to write. Not that it took a lot of time to come up with, it really didn't. Just emotionally, I lost my dad to cancer when I was 17, so it was really hard for me to put myself there. But I did and I'm so glad I did because this fic took me places. Really hope you guys like it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to the person who requested this.


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